2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize