Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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