Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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