i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
