ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
