Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
