YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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