I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
