u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
