I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
