I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
farters have to be the big spoon...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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