just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
