I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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