Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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