You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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