return my video game
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
