How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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