So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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