dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize