i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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