I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
