singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
