i think my mom watched the whole time
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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