did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
