Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
