i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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