There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Randomize