There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
