Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just found puke in my bra..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
