you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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