How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
