with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
