so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
