i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
