sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
