He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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