thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
