We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My nipple is on Facebook.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I'm really busy with my period
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