It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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