I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
