that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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