operation harelip BJ is a go
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
