When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
