you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
