Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
