Please, let me fuck your mom
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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