She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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