And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I love you. Go after that dick
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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