Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
MIDGETS
????
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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