I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
