If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
