dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize