i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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