Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
