Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
