so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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