he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize