no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
there is glitter all over my balls
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize