you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize