hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
