A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
