She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
